This last week has been a little hectic and stressful. I'm in the process of phasing out of both of my jobs and, while I know I'm following God's leading, I have had a few panic sessions. God made it very clear to me, earlier this Summer, that I was to leave my long-time job as a Medical Assistant at my father's family practice office. Right about the time I made the decision public knowledge, He provided a part-time job at our church in the finance department. (I'm filling in for a lady on materninty leave) With only 3 weeks left, my job at The Family Practice is winding down and my job at our church is coming to a close as well. I will "technically" be part time at both jobs through the end of the month, but the regular finance specialist at our church comes back Monday and I'm noticing I'm needed less and less at TFP. As my hours continue to decrease, my panic level increases. I have had dozens of conversations with my husband, Nate, and he always assures me that we will be OK financially. He also continues to ask me not to stress about the decrease in my income. The math shows that we will be OK financially as long as my income is at least half of what I was making before (which it still is and likely will continue to be). However my faith challenges me to accept that we will be OK financially no matter what!
Each time I feel the panic approaching, I try to remind myself of why I'm doing this in the first place. God has been trying to get me to release control in this area for a long time and I finally heard Him--thankfully He opened my eyes and ears when a friend had the insight to sit me down and help me take a deep look at some things. I am so thankful for that friend and for her taking the time to sit, listen, ask the right questions and hug me while I cried. [Reality is that I'm more of a control freak than I ever thought and security of a job/consistent income is more important to me than I realized.] I have had so much more peace since deciding to follow His prompts and take the giant leap of faith by quitting my job and looking for a part-time replacement.
As I pursue what "the next step" looks like for my job, I am praying that I don't miss anything. I tend to be the kind of individual who "hears" what God wants me to do and just full-on barrels on in that direction. Whether or not He tries to take me through a detour or a different path to get there, I think I know where He wants me and tune Him out from then on. Usually this ends with me running into a dead end pretty hard and only then realizing that I'm not where He wants me. Please pray with me that I'll take this one step at a time and be willing to change and flex along with God's plan for my life.